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poisoned_harlett 57F  
1328 posts
2/9/2018 1:17 am
When is it acceptable to ignore HARD LIMITS

When HARD LIMITS have been discussed with clarity, understood... When you are assured that a HARD LIMIT will not be an issue and it is accepted AS a HARD LIMIT... A 'dom' can ignore that HARD LIMIT when???
Whenever he wants to because he's the 'man'...
When he is not sober...
As an alternate form of discipline
NEVER


smileingatu 45M
28 posts
2/9/2018 5:40 am

more people need to learn respect.....


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/9/2018 3:25 pm:
welcome to my blog... p_h

prpackaged 74M  
587 posts
2/9/2018 5:50 am

Given that all things are negotiable, an agreement between the Dom and sub would change the hard limits. If it is non-negotiable, then it should not be ignored. It is trust that leads to better pleasure between people. If the hard limits are not honored then the trust cannot be there.

The blackest lie is a partial truth that leads you to the wrong conclusion.


VladVampireLord 44M  
7652 posts
2/9/2018 6:46 am

This is all based on the premise of consensual activity. If you violate consent you enter into the area of criminality and abuse which puts everyone at risk. Typical penalty in the US if you check news articles of this type is 30 years jail time.

Best to make a written contract and modify it in writing before altering hard limits without prior consent.

The world is a vampire set to drain...


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/9/2018 3:28 pm:
exactly Vlad... BTW... what is the story behind the endless song titles??? p_h

msfunfor 57M
2451 posts
2/9/2018 8:32 am

hi
does that mean you are in a situation where this could /is happening ?
congrats if you are .
however i think your poll is skewed,,,,,since you wrote never in all caps,,,,,
,,,seems like leading the poll audience
?
be good
M

.


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/9/2018 9:34 am:
No situation for me... skewed because of the caps... NEVER... skewed because I wrote it

jenny14 68T  
65841 posts
2/9/2018 9:19 am

p_h

Welcome back!

A Hard Limit is just that for a reason and ignoring it, is abuse!!!


A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Jenny


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/9/2018 11:00 am:
always a pleasure to see you Jenny

sub_nouveau 48F  
7772 posts
2/9/2018 11:14 am

There's a world of difference between a "Limit" and a "Hard Limit", and that's because Hard Limits are NEVER to be breached; disregarded; ignored; or forgotten. Disregarding/Ignoring a Hard Limit is, at the very least, abuse and most likely criminal. Let's face it - "Hard Limit" is our term for "I expressly do NOT give my consent".

I ended one dynamic, of several months, because the "dom" breached a couple of my hard limits (once, in a vicious attack - and I still don't know who he was that day, because he certainly wasn't the man I knew - he was like jekyll & hyde); and I ended another dynamic, of almost a year, because the "dom" kept threatening to breach a hard limit (he thought it would be fun to tease me about doing the very thing that is my hard limit, so I lost trust in him). If a "dom" isn't going to consistently treat my Hard Limits with the utmost respect - then he has no place in my life. Its that simple.

Let's talk. It's how we learn about yesterday and comprehend today.


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/9/2018 1:15 pm:
no argument from me... p_h

RavishYou1955 62M
184 posts
2/9/2018 12:01 pm

    Quoting sub_nouveau:
    There's a world of difference between a "Limit" and a "Hard Limit", and that's because Hard Limits are NEVER to be breached; disregarded; ignored; or forgotten. Disregarding/Ignoring a Hard Limit is, at the very least, abuse and most likely criminal. Let's face it - "Hard Limit" is our term for "I expressly do NOT give my consent".

    I ended one dynamic, of several months, because the "dom" breached a couple of my hard limits (once, in a vicious attack - and I still don't know who he was that day, because he certainly wasn't the man I knew - he was like jekyll & hyde); and I ended another dynamic, of almost a year, because the "dom" kept threatening to breach a hard limit (he thought it would be fun to tease me about doing the very thing that is my hard limit, so I lost trust in him). If a "dom" isn't going to consistently treat my Hard Limits with the utmost respect - then he has no place in my life. Its that simple.
Absolutely agree with everything you said and did.

What you are screams so loudly in my ear I cannot hear a word you say
Ralph Waldo Emerson


DomInMD1953 64M  
107 posts
2/9/2018 2:50 pm

Hard limits should never be ignored. If they are, I would leave immediately. That's why they're called HARD limits.

"Strong women submit. The weak ones just give in." Copyright © 1993, 2013 B. Michael. All rights reserved.


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/9/2018 3:24 pm:
Totally agree... Welcome to my blog... p_h

bill351962 55M
5 posts
2/9/2018 3:50 pm

Without Consent you NEVER, violate a hard limit. PERIOD


drmgirl622 62F  
6516 posts
2/9/2018 3:50 pm

Any and all hard limits must always be honored........there is never a reason to violate that trust and understanding.


glenn0725 53M  
92 posts
2/9/2018 8:43 pm

never means never


HW13KineticBlue 49M  
162 posts
2/9/2018 9:08 pm

Over the years, i have adjusted my OWN "hard limits" as i have grown in the lifestyle. That said, however;
- If he is a REAL man, this will NEVER be an issue.
- If he is not sober, there should be NO PLAY!
- Discipline is discipline, not breaking rules and trust, especially with intent.
i stand by my answer - NEVER!!!
Seems the readers also agree.
kisses, -Russ


rosaenaluin 58F  
1445 posts
2/10/2018 1:18 am

The thing is, when there is not a constant flow of open communication, when the 'sub', is not able to openly discuss things she dont like, there will never be enough trust, it al will be game, all play..

Also, in a commited relation, where there is a open approach on anything....

Hard limits can become soft limits,
Even hard limits are not always written in stone.

The vanillaplaydoms, almost always want to go for your hardlimits, i have noticed in the Dutch scene, that meaning, they havin got a clue what BDSM is all about.
Since almost 88 % is such playdom....
Dangerous fuck-ups!

Discipline has nothing to do with hardlimits, as a "dom" you must be very braindead, when you use a hard limit to punish your "sub"...

Discipline/ Punishment is NOT play.
punishment is for many a fetish, (do things wrong on purpose, so he has to punish you, oh my! horny! NOT.)

wich can make it a funishment, as it is for most playvanillas.


baudeight 75M  
254 posts
2/10/2018 6:07 am

sub never; slave whenever you wish to increase tolerances or decrease limits; the owner sets the limits of the slave

respectfully
8


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/10/2018 10:09 am:
I believe that a 'slave' would not have been discussing HARD LIMITS or even soft ones... p_h

freddiewoodville 58M
10 posts
2/10/2018 6:20 am

What is the point if having hard limits if you are going to ignore them
They are there so both parties enjoy thier time tigether
Never ignore hard limits it shows you dont care and havent listened


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/10/2018 10:18 am:
my thought... When a HARD LIMIT has been discussed, validated and agreed to... It MUST NEVER be ignored... Ignoring a HARD LIMIT is equal to ignoring a SAFE WORD... Can HARD LIMITS and soft limits (and there is a huge difference between HARD and soft limits) be revisited and the 'terms' of a relationship be renegotiated??? Sure... Unless or until that happens it is unacceptable to ignore a HARD LIMIT... p_h

slaaf85_91 55M
280 posts
2/10/2018 9:16 am

In the gay world this may be slightly different. I tend to pass my limits not willing to spoil the situation for the Dom who works out his sm desire on my body. I put myself many times at risk, but it seems stronger than my common sense.


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/10/2018 10:07 am:
So If you had an allergy to peanuts and you told your partner that eating peanuts was a definite NO for you and you explained that eating peanuts would cause an allergic reaction that would cause your death... In the gay community, it would be acceptable for him to make you eat a peanut butter sandwich... Interesting... I am not sure but I believe that in most communities that behavior sounds more like attempted murder... p_h

footlicker1214 65M
7 posts
2/10/2018 11:19 am

Never;limit that's why it's called a hard


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/10/2018 2:14 pm:
A lot of people seem to understand the concept... p_h

DancingDom 68M
9463 posts
2/10/2018 4:15 pm

You never ever break a hard limit. And don't be a pest trying to convince a submissive/bottom to do it anyway. Nothing wrong with occasional asking one to consider doing such. But insistence questions/requests are at the very least annoying. But they will seem like pressure and coercion to the submissive/bottom. Keep asking often adn you are sure to soon be looking for a new submissive/bottom.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/10/2018 4:21 pm:
Good to see you DD... p_h

msub4FLRUSA 54M
4 posts
2/11/2018 11:27 am

Hard limits exist for a reason. Over time with knowledge, trust and safety you may soften your stance but until then they should be respected.


JanellaGirl 27F
4 posts
2/11/2018 2:27 pm

hard limit = don't do it.


MissLoveParty1 36F  
18 posts
2/12/2018 10:13 am

People establish hard limits for good reasons. Responsible people respect and follow limits. How can you build trust if you violate hard limits?


Intercrural69 44M
13 posts
2/12/2018 4:53 pm

Hard to believe people get this wrong.


slaveUser1960 55M
23 posts
2/15/2018 6:13 pm

hard or dangerous thats the question


mytrn4funnow 54F  
2 posts
2/15/2018 6:55 pm

    Quoting VladVampireLord:
    This is all based on the premise of consensual activity. If you violate consent you enter into the area of criminality and abuse which puts everyone at risk. Typical penalty in the US if you check news articles of this type is 30 years jail time.

    Best to make a written contract and modify it in writing before altering hard limits without prior consent.
Well said Vlad! Thank you!


sub4blackalpha 47F  
3 posts
2/16/2018 7:36 am

COMMUNICATION is key..TRUSTING that a Dom will respect your agreed upon hard limits makes the session more enjoyable..If you have concerns that he, or she will exceed that, you're with the wrong Dom..


yoling 35F  
4 posts
2/16/2018 8:51 am

while women say that is" hard limits", meant No...even be pushed


yoling 35F  
4 posts
2/16/2018 8:55 am

Hard limits are meant=never do it, dont want do it,.......meant NO


Yocum1976 41M  
16 posts
2/18/2018 7:01 am

In my own opinion, hard limits are NEVER ignored, but they can be crossed ONLY if the sub expressly requests, AND CONFIRMS, that they are freely requesting that the limit in question be pushed/crossed.


Plz2BNuPeg 65M
3 posts
2/21/2018 12:00 pm

A clear violation of trust and should not be tolerated


fattedick 59M
6 posts
2/22/2018 4:40 am

Never ever. Respect on both sides


GoodDom128 63M  
3 posts
2/22/2018 9:15 am

Respect is Everything in a D's relationship. If violated, the Submissive has to evaluate the relationship.



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