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poisoned_harlett 57F  
1363 posts
2/9/2018 1:17 am
When is it acceptable to ignore HARD LIMITS

When HARD LIMITS have been discussed with clarity, understood... When you are assured that a HARD LIMIT will not be an issue and it is accepted AS a HARD LIMIT... A 'dom' can ignore that HARD LIMIT when???
Whenever he wants to because he's the 'man'...
When he is not sober...
As an alternate form of discipline
NEVER


smileingatu 45M
51 posts
2/9/2018 5:40 am

more people need to learn respect.....


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/9/2018 3:25 pm:
welcome to my blog... p_h

prpackaged 75M  
600 posts
2/9/2018 5:50 am

Given that all things are negotiable, an agreement between the Dom and sub would change the hard limits. If it is non-negotiable, then it should not be ignored. It is trust that leads to better pleasure between people. If the hard limits are not honored then the trust cannot be there.

The blackest lie is a partial truth that leads you to the wrong conclusion.


VladVampireLord 44M  
10978 posts
2/9/2018 6:46 am

This is all based on the premise of consensual activity. If you violate consent you enter into the area of criminality and abuse which puts everyone at risk. Typical penalty in the US if you check news articles of this type is 30 years jail time.

Best to make a written contract and modify it in writing before altering hard limits without prior consent.

The world is a vampire set to drain...


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/9/2018 3:28 pm:
exactly Vlad... BTW... what is the story behind the endless song titles??? p_h

msfunfor 57M
2783 posts
2/9/2018 8:32 am

hi
does that mean you are in a situation where this could /is happening ?
congrats if you are .
however i think your poll is skewed,,,,,since you wrote never in all caps,,,,,
,,,seems like leading the poll audience
?
be good
M

.


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/9/2018 9:34 am:
No situation for me... skewed because of the caps... NEVER... skewed because I wrote it

jenny14 69T  
67058 posts
2/9/2018 9:19 am

p_h

Welcome back!

A Hard Limit is just that for a reason and ignoring it, is abuse!!!


A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Jenny


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/9/2018 11:00 am:
always a pleasure to see you Jenny

sub_nouveau 49F  
8531 posts
2/9/2018 11:14 am

There's a world of difference between a "Limit" and a "Hard Limit", and that's because Hard Limits are NEVER to be breached; disregarded; ignored; or forgotten. Disregarding/Ignoring a Hard Limit is, at the very least, abuse and most likely criminal. Let's face it - "Hard Limit" is our term for "I expressly do NOT give my consent".

I ended one dynamic, of several months, because the "dom" breached a couple of my hard limits (once, in a vicious attack - and I still don't know who he was that day, because he certainly wasn't the man I knew - he was like jekyll & hyde); and I ended another dynamic, of almost a year, because the "dom" kept threatening to breach a hard limit (he thought it would be fun to tease me about doing the very thing that is my hard limit, so I lost trust in him). If a "dom" isn't going to consistently treat my Hard Limits with the utmost respect - then he has no place in my life. Its that simple.

Let's talk. It's how we learn about yesterday and comprehend today.


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/9/2018 1:15 pm:
no argument from me... p_h

RavishYou1955 63M
193 posts
2/9/2018 12:01 pm

    Quoting sub_nouveau:
    There's a world of difference between a "Limit" and a "Hard Limit", and that's because Hard Limits are NEVER to be breached; disregarded; ignored; or forgotten. Disregarding/Ignoring a Hard Limit is, at the very least, abuse and most likely criminal. Let's face it - "Hard Limit" is our term for "I expressly do NOT give my consent".

    I ended one dynamic, of several months, because the "dom" breached a couple of my hard limits (once, in a vicious attack - and I still don't know who he was that day, because he certainly wasn't the man I knew - he was like jekyll & hyde); and I ended another dynamic, of almost a year, because the "dom" kept threatening to breach a hard limit (he thought it would be fun to tease me about doing the very thing that is my hard limit, so I lost trust in him). If a "dom" isn't going to consistently treat my Hard Limits with the utmost respect - then he has no place in my life. Its that simple.
Absolutely agree with everything you said and did.

What you are screams so loudly in my ear I cannot hear a word you say
Ralph Waldo Emerson


DomInMD1953 64M  
110 posts
2/9/2018 2:50 pm

Hard limits should never be ignored. If they are, I would leave immediately. That's why they're called HARD limits.

"Strong women submit. The weak ones just give in." Copyright © 1993, 2013 B. Michael. All rights reserved.


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/9/2018 3:24 pm:
Totally agree... Welcome to my blog... p_h

drmgirl622 63F  
7567 posts
2/9/2018 3:50 pm

Any and all hard limits must always be honored........there is never a reason to violate that trust and understanding.


glenn0725 53M  
137 posts
2/9/2018 8:43 pm

never means never


HW13KineticBlue 49M
242 posts
2/9/2018 9:08 pm

Over the years, i have adjusted my OWN "hard limits" as i have grown in the lifestyle. That said, however;
- If he is a REAL man, this will NEVER be an issue.
- If he is not sober, there should be NO PLAY!
- Discipline is discipline, not breaking rules and trust, especially with intent.
i stand by my answer - NEVER!!!
Seems the readers also agree.
kisses, -Russ


rosaenaluin 59F  
2265 posts
2/10/2018 1:18 am

The thing is, when there is not a constant flow of open communication, when the 'sub', is not able to openly discuss things she dont like, there will never be enough trust, it al will be game, all play..

Also, in a commited relation, where there is a open approach on anything....

Hard limits can become soft limits,
Even hard limits are not always written in stone.

The vanillaplaydoms, almost always want to go for your hardlimits, i have noticed in the Dutch scene, that meaning, they havin got a clue what BDSM is all about.
Since almost 88 % is such playdom....
Dangerous fuck-ups!

Discipline has nothing to do with hardlimits, as a "dom" you must be very braindead, when you use a hard limit to punish your "sub"...

Discipline/ Punishment is NOT play.
punishment is for many a fetish, (do things wrong on purpose, so he has to punish you, oh my! horny! NOT.)

wich can make it a funishment, as it is for most playvanillas.


baudeight 75M  
266 posts
2/10/2018 6:07 am

sub never; slave whenever you wish to increase tolerances or decrease limits; the owner sets the limits of the slave

respectfully
8


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/10/2018 10:09 am:
I believe that a 'slave' would not have been discussing HARD LIMITS or even soft ones... p_h

freddiewoodville 58M
12 posts
2/10/2018 6:20 am

What is the point if having hard limits if you are going to ignore them
They are there so both parties enjoy thier time tigether
Never ignore hard limits it shows you dont care and havent listened


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/10/2018 10:18 am:
my thought... When a HARD LIMIT has been discussed, validated and agreed to... It MUST NEVER be ignored... Ignoring a HARD LIMIT is equal to ignoring a SAFE WORD... Can HARD LIMITS and soft limits (and there is a huge difference between HARD and soft limits) be revisited and the 'terms' of a relationship be renegotiated??? Sure... Unless or until that happens it is unacceptable to ignore a HARD LIMIT... p_h

slaaf85_91 55M  
397 posts
2/10/2018 9:16 am

In the gay world this may be slightly different. I tend to pass my limits not willing to spoil the situation for the Dom who works out his sm desire on my body. I put myself many times at risk, but it seems stronger than my common sense.

Being different from the majority of people as homosexual my pleasure is in being used by others...


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/10/2018 10:07 am:
So If you had an allergy to peanuts and you told your partner that eating peanuts was a definite NO for you and you explained that eating peanuts would cause an allergic reaction that would cause your death... In the gay community, it would be acceptable for him to make you eat a peanut butter sandwich... Interesting... I am not sure but I believe that in most communities that behavior sounds more like attempted murder... p_h

footlicker1214 66M
7 posts
2/10/2018 11:19 am

Never;limit that's why it's called a hard


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/10/2018 2:14 pm:
A lot of people seem to understand the concept... p_h

DancingDom 68M
10349 posts
2/10/2018 4:15 pm

You never ever break a hard limit. And don't be a pest trying to convince a submissive/bottom to do it anyway. Nothing wrong with occasional asking one to consider doing such. But insistence questions/requests are at the very least annoying. But they will seem like pressure and coercion to the submissive/bottom. Keep asking often adn you are sure to soon be looking for a new submissive/bottom.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


poisoned_harlett replies on 2/10/2018 4:21 pm:
Good to see you DD... p_h

msub4FLRUSA 55M
4 posts
2/11/2018 11:27 am

Hard limits exist for a reason. Over time with knowledge, trust and safety you may soften your stance but until then they should be respected.


JanellaGirl 27F
5 posts
2/11/2018 2:27 pm

hard limit = don't do it.


MissLoveParty1 36F  
21 posts
2/12/2018 10:13 am

People establish hard limits for good reasons. Responsible people respect and follow limits. How can you build trust if you violate hard limits?


slaveUser1960 56M
28 posts
2/15/2018 6:13 pm

hard or dangerous thats the question


mytrn4funnow 54F  
4 posts
2/15/2018 6:55 pm

    Quoting VladVampireLord:
    This is all based on the premise of consensual activity. If you violate consent you enter into the area of criminality and abuse which puts everyone at risk. Typical penalty in the US if you check news articles of this type is 30 years jail time.

    Best to make a written contract and modify it in writing before altering hard limits without prior consent.
Well said Vlad! Thank you!


yoling 35F  
7 posts
2/16/2018 8:51 am

while women say that is" hard limits", meant No...even be pushed


yoling 35F  
7 posts
2/16/2018 8:55 am

Hard limits are meant=never do it, dont want do it,.......meant NO


Yocum1976 42M  
16 posts
2/18/2018 7:01 am

In my own opinion, hard limits are NEVER ignored, but they can be crossed ONLY if the sub expressly requests, AND CONFIRMS, that they are freely requesting that the limit in question be pushed/crossed.


Slave2every1 61F
4 posts
2/18/2018 7:18 pm

I don't know how others feel about hard limits, but as a slave, I do have hard limits and my Master has the same or even more hard limits.
Even so, not all slaves wish to relinquish their right to have their mental, emotional, psychological or physical safety protected from even their Master. Consent is not flexible - it's YES meaning you have consent to do that, or anything else (including no answer) meaning if you do that, you will have to deal with the law! Assault / battery / abuse etc. are serious offenses.
If I tell my Master before they collar me about a HARD limit, that means at no time will I be giving consent to do that thing, even if I am totally drunk and flying on endorphins. Even if I say 'yes' in such a state, it's still a violation. Hard limits are hard. Don't ever ever push them! Period.

slave ashleigh


Plz2BNuPeg 65M
50 posts
2/21/2018 12:00 pm

A clear violation of trust and should not be tolerated


fattedick 60M
18 posts
2/22/2018 4:40 am

Never ever. Respect on both sides


GoodDom128 63M  
3 posts
2/22/2018 9:15 am

Respect is Everything in a D's relationship. If violated, the Submissive has to evaluate the relationship.


blushred1000 50F
10 posts
2/25/2018 1:24 am

Hard limits are there for a reason, it's not a toy you can pick up and throw around or be used for others enjoyment. A limit is a limit for a reason, it is why its called safe sane consensual after all. IF and that's a big IF you been with a Master/Sir etc for a long long time both can look at the agreement and alter but until then it is not right to breach that trust and brake the hard limit.slave or sub or bottom


docile_1_4u 60M  
11 posts
2/26/2018 9:51 am

Never. That's the definition of a hard limit.

f the submissive changes over time, it may no longer be a hard limit, but as long as it is, the answer remains, never.


IThirst4USir 54M  
245 posts
3/4/2018 3:14 pm

As Glenn0725 commented, "Never means never."


slaaf85_91 55M  
397 posts
3/6/2018 3:30 am

    Quoting slaaf85_91:
    In the gay world this may be slightly different. I tend to pass my limits not willing to spoil the situation for the Dom who works out his sm desire on my body. I put myself many times at risk, but it seems stronger than my common sense.
Luckily I have no allergies. To give an example I have been with guys who loved watching me suffer crucified. At a given point the pain eases when arms feel paralyzed. When I was taken from the cross, I suffered on the ground to get back control on my muscles. I have been scared in certain situations that I feared to end up as an anonymous naked body dumped in the woods. One time I got buried till my neck in a hole in a forest. it took me hours to free my body out of the ground, standing naked in the middle of the night in the woods. I did quit seeing certain sadists who went too far. But during a sessionI tend to undergo. Being immobilized there is often no alternative.

Being different from the majority of people as homosexual my pleasure is in being used by others...


poisoned_harlett replies on 3/7/2018 9:32 am:
Clearly you did not read the question...

p_h

MissedRubber 42F  
12 posts
3/11/2018 6:23 pm

It’s never acceptable, it’s a hard limit for a reason and that shouldn’t be trifled with.


lic4hours 60M
64 posts
3/14/2018 6:18 pm

your word is based on trust, once it has been ignored, you can only figure the future holds the same results


timesdwell 21M
14 posts
3/17/2018 8:24 am

maybe it should never happen no limits points


timesdwell 21M
14 posts
3/20/2018 10:05 am

Whenever its agreed on both sides


loki1667 30M  
2 posts
3/31/2018 9:31 pm

Limits always seem to get pushed


poisoned_harlett replies on 4/1/2018 8:14 am:
I find this very disturbing but you are correct... I have learned over the years that I am better off when I don't discuss my limits because they are usually the first thing people push... Disturbing because my personal limits are to ensure my physical and mental well being...

daughterformum 38F
5 posts
4/4/2018 1:36 pm

Hard Limit is like a signal on the road: It means NEVER DOING IT
The limits are discussed before starting a relationship Owner-slave so they became the road where the Owner can move as He like..but He goes out from the road he is out of my life. Becuase i lost the trust on him and that is all in a relationship


submissive4miss 69M  
1 post
4/24/2018 3:20 am

If you look at the vanilla cases that have come up in recent years, as an example, of how the courts would view abuse, the answer is don't go there. Despite perhaps a different view taken years ago, which I might add, to me was never acceptable even in my vanilla years as a teenager. If a partner said no, it meant no. I still see in public, males, and it always seem to be males, grabbing a females crotch. Do they not watch the news? The almost 10% on this poll, who seem to find it acceptable in some way? BDSM like all relationships has to be consensual. Hard limits might be pushed, but only with long term trust.


doyou1000 61M
19 posts
5/8/2018 1:10 am

Whatever the situation mutual respect is the key to both pain and pleasure


SirMasterBishop 59M  
3 posts
5/8/2018 7:14 pm

Never, even in a CNC relationship people do have Hard Limits unless you have consented to full blown CNC that is.



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