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2005-05-06 "SANTA, can Police seize my cell phone, if we take pictures of our doin's; this weeek-end with Tiffany, Ooopsie, Carmen and me, SANTA?" Just pretend to be 14yr. old, best "nigga-friend" of Tiff.;"DARBY" asked, as she continued to ride SANTA's pony, with girlish enthusiasm. The old Elf chuockled and shook his baldling head, and giving Darby a thank-you pat on her caramel coloured butt, he said. "New Hanover County Judge W.Allen Cobb Jr.Superior Court, in Wilmington, NC, ruled that arresting officers should have obtained a search warrant before viewing images from the camera phone of one Mr.ChristopherSnow, 26. Mr.Snow is charged by Wrightville Beach Police with second-degree sexual-offense and secret peeping-photographic image. A witness told Police that she had seen Mr.Snow taking pictures of an unconscious woman on the beach. An officer activated the phone and retrieved several immages, including one of someone pulling down the woman's underwear. A warrant was obtained the next day, and police contacted Sprint corporate headquarters, that provided copies of seven images including one of the woman's genital area. Judge Cobb wrote "THE SEARCH AND SEIZURE`Did not fall with in any aknowledged exception to the Search Warrant requirement under THE FOURTH AMENDMENT." "WOW, " jiggled just pretend to be 14, Darby. SANTA continued, "Police officers violatedMr.Snow's constitutional rights when they seized a camera-cell phone containing explicit images." "Judge Cobb's finding, could create legal precedant and serve as a reference point for future cases nationwide." [please excuse any typos, no Spell-Checker-will keep readers posted on further cases] Comments, Views, Votes | |
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"SANTA,Does"ALFONSO"flirtS,w/every.pretty.girl.he.sees?-#2" 5/4/2005 Tiffany was riding SANTA's pony, When she asked SANTA about ALFONSO who got his inner ears poko-dot-tattooed by a Bazillian ho, when she fed him Rum & Tequila in her cat's food dish(AND HE WAS ONL 0 Comments, 510 Views, 0 Votes | |
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"SANTA,BAR-MAID'S,GIVING.MY.HUSBAND.TOO.MUCH.SERVICE!"" 4/16/2005 SANTA[DATELINE]Barmaid.too.coozy! Carmen who Darby had called while riding SANTA'S pony, sat beside SANTA and pretend to be 14 Darby on Tiffany's livingroom Love-Seat settee and SANTA was consoli 0 Comments, 219 Views, 0 Votes | |
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"SANTA,ALFONSO,FLIRTS.WHEN.HE.SEES.PRETTY.GIRLS(and.he's.only.a.mouse-#!" 4/13/2005 SANTA[Deadline]Alfonso'sfr.Brazil; "ALFONSO" is an odd mousse, an illegal immigrant taat found his wayi to AMERICA!{the land of opportsunisty and new loves}arriv- ing on a banana & coffee boat fro 0 Comments, 104 Views, 0 Votes | |
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SHADOW,"ForUnlawfulCarnalKnowledge!-#1" 4/10/2005 SHADOW[DATELINE]Titlel.Spells.Fuck She was married;SECRETSANTA had talked to her when she made an unexpectd visit to Tiffny's house upoon the innocent request of Tiffany's parents who had gone to 0 Comments, 274 Views, 0 Votes | |
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SANTA,"Leave.it.to.Beaver's.Mom!" 4/9/2005 SANTA[Dateline]B'ver.Mom'sFANTASY: Her husband Ward was upstairs in the boy's bedroom readng a bed time story to Beaver, his brother, Wally was down on his knees in beween Ms.Landers, Beaversteac 0 Comments, 491 Views, 0 Votes | |
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"SANTA, MY DR. DIDN'T SWALLOW MY CUM!" 2/26/2005 SANTA[DATELINE]CHICAGO;DrsuesDrfrCum Dr.Richard O.Phillips says his former lover a Dr.Sharon Irons deceived him by not swallowing his semen during an oral sex session and using said semen to get h 0 Comments, 262 Views, 0 Votes | |
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"SANWTA,OUR.'S.IN.TROUBLEw/NEW.1ST.DATE." 2/23/2005 SANTA[DATELINE]His ex-pics on wall: SECRETSANTA, knows that your still has pctures of wedding day and more intimate pics.on his bedroom wall of his divorced wife screwing him, which he refuses t 0 Comments, 258 Views, 0 Votes | |
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"SANTA,FORGIVE ME I HAVE SINNED!" 2/17/2005 SANTA[DEADLINE]Tellapriest, notSANTA!!A friend goes to church one Sunday and hears a sermon about the Ten- Commandments, he has a guiltyfeeling , and goes to confession. "Forgive me 0 Comments, 113 Views, 0 Votes | |
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"SANTA,I'M.A.TEACHER.WANTA,SHOW.ME^A^GOOD.TIME?"ILL 2/17/2005 SANTA[DATELINE]SundaySchoolTeacher: On their "First Date" SECRETSANTA asked his companion for the evening, a Sunday school teacher that was a-look-a-like of "Serena Williams, " if she'd like a 0 Comments, 140 Views, 0 Votes | |
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"SANTA,TELL.ME.SOME.ONE-LINERS,WILLYA,HUH?" 2/15/2005 SANTA[DEADLINE]SANTA REMEMBERS: "When i was born, I was so ugly, the doctor slapped my mother." "When I was 3 years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got 0 Comments, 104 Views, 0 Votes | |
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"SANTA,DO.ON-LINE-VID's.STEER.CUPID['s.ARROWS?" 2/14/2005 SANTA[DATELINE]On.Line.Video.Dataes? SECRETSANTA and Video Web-Sites; Chris.Boykin, after exchanging e-Mail instant messages, and digital photos through an on-line dating site, got a hardon a 0 Comments, 83 Views, 0 Votes | |
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"SANTA,IS.PRESIDENT.READING.TOM.WOLFE'S.SEXY.NOVEL?" 2/10/2005 SANTA[DEADLINE]Reading I"m C.Simons: SECRETSANTAnoted what.is.surprising is the news that the PRESIDENT is a big fan of "I Am Charlotte Simmons, " Tom Wolfe"s latest doorstop at the WhiteHouse. O 0 Comments, 73 Views, 0 Votes | |
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2005-02-10 SANTA[DATELINE]PolicingVideoVoyeurs! [The FEDS join the battle against perverts with cameras] JOlene Jang was enjoying an outdoor festival in Seattle withherboyfriend when she felt uneasy by a creepy guy standing too close behind her. He was reaching into her backpack. When she confronted him, the man started to run away, but Jang's boyfriend tackled him and held him until police arrived. A pickpocket? No the man wasn't just a pickpocket he was using a small digital video camera to take pictures up her skirt. Her assailant pleaded that he was just taking the pictures for his own enjoyment. The courts thought different, he was convicted, began serving 38 days for violation of the State Voyeurism Law. However;the WashingtonState Supreme Court, overturned the verdict[Ruling: That Ms.Jang was out in public when it happened, she had no reasonable expectation of privacy.] Furious Ms.Jang became an outspoken activist, and finally the state rewrote the law [The space under a person's clothes private even in a public place.] SANTA has found out that currently 44 states have some kind of statute that makes video voyeurism a crime. A just-passed Federal Law could help sort out the problem of State's Laws with vague wording and First Amendment issues. [It is a crime to secretly photograph anyone onFederal Property or Military Bases.] Ms.Jang says, "I'm still wearing skirts, but i make sure that they're on the longer side." [SANTA says"Excuse.typos.no.SpellChecker."] Comments, Views, Votes | |
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"SANTA.IS.IT.STILL.LEGAL.TO.TELL.JOKES?" 2/9/2005 SANTA[DEADLINE]N.Y.;1ST-AMENDMENT: [LAWYER JOKE CHARGES DROPPED!] A New York City man was arrested after teling lawyer jokes at court- use gets last laugh when GrandJury- dismissed the di 0 Comments, 91 Views, 0 Votes | |
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"SANTA.TELL.ME.ANOTHER.BARROOM.JOKE#1." COLLECTS.JOKES.#1:[BLOGGER] 2/8/2005 SANTA[JOKELINE]WHO'S THE JOKER?: I]A.man.comes.home.early.for.a, "noo-nie" to find his wife with all her bags packed, hopping into a waiting taxi. "Where are you 0 Comments, 49 Views, 0 Votes | |
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"SANTA.WHY.AM.I.NOT.GETTING.PUSSY.FOR.A.WEEK?" 2/7/2005 SANTA[Deadline]Stop kicking the cat! A farm boy was angry because he had to do chores before breakfast. He fed the chickens, kicks one of them, next he mllks the cow, kicks the cow, last he 0 Comments, 45 Views, 0 Votes | |
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"SANTA,DID,I.TAKE.THAT.ONE.ALREADY?" 2/7/2005 SANTA[DEADLINE]Pass.awayIn.YourSleep A row of bottles on my shelf. caused me to analyze myself. One yellow pill I have to pop, goes to my heart, so wont stop. A little whi 0 Comments, 17 Views, 0 Votes | |
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"SANTA,ARE.OUR.M.Ps.IN.IRAQ.MISBEHAVING?" 2/7/2005 SANTA[DEADLINE]IRAQ;M.P.Mud Wrestler Demoted: A female member of a Ntl-Guard.unit was demoted for indecent exposure after a pre-Valentine's Day mud wrestling party at t 0 Comments, 154 Views, 0 Votes | |
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SANTA"IF.ONLY'S".STAND.IN.THE.WAY.OF.LOVE." 2/6/2005 SANTA[DATELINE]MAKE, REALISTIC.CHANGE With Valentine's day appoaching many couples yearn to regain feellings of the love and passion they once felt. For singles, the desire to find that wonderful 0 Comments, 35 Views, 0 Votes | |
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"SANTA.WHY.DID.THEY.TRY.TO ARREST.A.PANDA?? .THYPANDA 2/6/2005 SANTA{DEADLINE]PANDA.SHOOTS.UP.BAR: A PANDA bear from China went into Bar during thr Great Depression, to get somethiing to eat. He asked the bartender if he couldmake.a.sandwich with all the fi 0 Comments, 35 Views, 0 Votes | |
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""SANTA.WHAT.WERE.THE.8.RULES.FOR.DATING.MY.?"ING 2/6/2005 SANTA[DATELINE]JOHN.RITTER.EXPLAINS: 1:Use your hands on my and lose them later. 2:You make her cry. I make you cryi. 3:Safe sex is a myth. Any 0 Comments, 505 Views, 0 Votes | |
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SANTA;RETIREMENT a 'S VIEW: 2/3/2005 SANTA[DEADLINE]How'd.Spend3.Holiday? SECRETSANTA read the pretty, carrot-topped subTeacher's report as he introduced Tonya Gorgon, 25, with a delicious 34D bust, and carmel nipples, that matched h 0 Comments, 179 Views, 0 Votes | |
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SANTA; 2/2/2005 SANTA[UnDeadLine]RALEIGH, NC;I'mDead? SANTA.was.reading.Police-Blotter, Funeral-Obituaries, and Autopsy Rep- orts for a new "Article" when he came.across.a.MedlcalExamner's.cause of death:"UNDEAD 0 Comments, 95 Views, 0 Votes | |
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2005-02-02 SANTA[DEADLINE]VIDEO.VOYEURISM: "SANTA, What.is.the.most.recentcase of "nonconsensual photograpy" with a video camera?" "That would have to be when Bunny Brunt was shopping at the Norolk Mall, in.Richmond, Va.for.prom.access-ories with her 18-year-old daughter Raquel when she noticed a man waving a.shopping.bag under Raquel's skirt. obviously, if wishing he could see up her skirt, if she were wearing panties, or maybe not, a blind shot of the teen-agers pusse^." "When Mrs.Brunt confronted him, he bolted. After she and another, custom er chased hin down in the Mall. Security found a secret, hidden, video camera vid.cam.in the shopping bag he had used to peer up Raquel's skirt. Arrested, it was found that he had also been up-skirting.several other-teens." "But, because of a loop-hole in Virginia's law, prosecuters were.only able to convict, Jeffrey Swisher of nonconsensual photography, disorderly conduct, to serve 10 DAYS IN JAIL!" inuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu "It's immoral, it's certainly wrong, but under the code, it's just not a writtn offence, "said Delegate John Cosgrove, who is sponsering a bill tyt would close the loophole in Virgina's law. We're trying to tight the code soo some pervert isn't able to up-skirt or down-blouse any one else." Similar effforts have played out across the coountry, as states struggle to to rewoord laws written before the advancement of camers technologyi led to a boom in digital voyeurism. The internet has fueled the erotic explosionof"up-skirt"or"down-blouse" into a search engine, and up to a million of Web sites have popped up. [SANTA is going for a coffee break, if any more of you readers are interested in what one critic of SANTA's Articles called-"SLUDGE"-req est "up-skirts #2]excuse any typos: Comments, Views, Votes | |
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SANTA;"Vicious.Ambush!73KIA,139WIA,Marines." 2/1/2005 SANTA[DEADLINE]Bad<feeling<Cold.beer: "I had bad feelings about this one, "recalled, Lance Cpl.George Schneider, of Foxtrot Co. "Whenever the brass give you cold beer before going out on pat 0 Comments, 72 Views, 0 Votes | |
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"SANTA.WHAt's.PAY.THE.PIPER?" 1/30/2005 SANTA[DEADLINE]Universal.Default(-$) According to Bankrate.com there are 1.2 Billion credit cards in use in America. many users don't pay off their balance every month, either. That can be c 0 Comments, 71 Views, 0 Votes | |
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"SANTA.IS.$MdollarBAABY.worth.SEEING?" 1/30/2005 SANTA[DATELINE]"Yes$M$Baby.is.WORTH.EVERY.CENT:" There's.not.an.ounce.of.flab.on Clint Eastwood's 74yr.-old body, and his new movie, "Million Dollar Baby" is just as ta 0 Comments, 62 Views, 0 Votes | |
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SANTA;"SURVIVE,HEART,ATTACK.ALONE?""M-$-BABY?"ILL 1/29/2005 SANTA[DEADLINE]10.sec.to.Live!heart^ "SECRETSANTA, HOW TO SURVIVE A **HEART ATTACK** ALONE." "Since many people are alone when a heart-attack occurs, this medical know how from "Roc 0 Comments, 95 Views, 0 Votes | |
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SANTA;[NO.GREATER.GIFTS.TO.GIVE.YOUR.LIFE.4/YOUR.MASTER] 1/29/2005 SECRETSANTA[DEADLINE]PostumousAward;ST, LUCIE cOUNTY, FLA.SHERIFF'S;OFFICE:K-9Unit: The incident that claimed "Vasko's" life was his 91st apprehension, and the 1st Line-of-Duty death since the K- 0 Comments, 57 Views, 0 Votes |
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