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Deck Of Cards 2/8/2005
A woman once said that a man is like
a deck of playing cards..... you need :
<br>
A Heart to love him,
<br>
A Diamond to marry him,
<br>
A Club to smash his f
0 Comments,
186 Views,
0 Votes
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Mr. Goldstein 2/8/2005
An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life
in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.
Nurse Stacy, asked if there was anything wrong.
<br>
"
0 Comments,
192 Views,
0 Votes
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25 Signs That You Have Grown Up 2/8/2005
1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke
any of them.
<br>
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
<br>
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
0 Comments,
207 Views,
0 Votes
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Polish Sausage 2/8/2005
A man goes into a store and asks the clerk for some "Polish
Sausage". The clerk looked at him and asked "Are
you Polish?"
<br>
The guy, clearly offended, says "Well, yes I am. But
let
0 Comments,
167 Views,
0 Votes
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Tips For Great Cyber Sex 2/8/2005
1. Before becoming involved in any kind of cybersex please
make sure your spouse, boyfriend, , etc. are out of
the room at the time, (preferably out of the house and not
during a major holiday when
0 Comments,
150 Views,
0 Votes
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Redneck Dungeon 2/8/2005
How To Tell You're In A Redneck Dungeon:
<br>
1. Toys are displayed in wall-mounted gun racks.
<br>
2. The dungeon masters are Bubba and Bobbi Sue.
<br>
3. The h
0 Comments,
140 Views,
0 Votes
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Bit Of A Gamble 2/8/2005
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the table. A very
attractive blonde woman arrived and bet $20, 000 on a single
roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much
0 Comments,
104 Views,
0 Votes
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Lipstick 2/8/2005
According to a news report, a certain private school in
Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A
number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick
and would put it o
0 Comments,
131 Views,
0 Votes
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Please Shut Up 2/8/2005
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer
says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
<br>
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control
at 60, perhaps you
0 Comments,
161 Views,
0 Votes
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Irishman 2/8/2005
An Irishman staggered home late after another evening
at the pub with
his drinking buddies. Shoes in left hand to avoid waking
his wife, he
tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stai
0 Comments,
121 Views,
0 Votes
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10 Bucks 2/8/2005
Kirk was walking down the street when he was accosted by
a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man
who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. Kirk took
out his wallet, extracted t
0 Comments,
117 Views,
0 Votes
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Lying Bastard 2/8/2005
A police officer pulls a motorist over for speeding. Whilst
he is writing out the ticket he decides to check the car for
roadworthiness.
<br>
The motorist doesn't object to this but as
0 Comments,
110 Views,
0 Votes
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The Bus Stop 2/8/2005
In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman
wearing a tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus.
<br>
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became
aware t
0 Comments,
166 Views,
0 Votes
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The Ducks 2/8/2005
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night in a hotel
room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.
<br>
The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?"
Donald frowned
0 Comments,
144 Views,
0 Votes
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drunk's perspective 2/8/2005
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she
selected:
a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee,
0 Comments,
109 Views,
0 Votes
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Renaming Viagra 2/8/2005
In Pharmacology all drugs have two names, a trade name and
a generic name.
<br>
For example the generic name of Tylenol is Acetaminophen,
Aleve is known as Naproxen, Amoxil is amoxicill
0 Comments,
79 Views,
0 Votes
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Cowgirl 2/8/2005
A cowgirl walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.
<br>
She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each
one in turn.
<br>
When she finishes them, she comes
0 Comments,
142 Views,
0 Votes
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Top 10 Reasons Why Medical Professionals ROCK 2/8/2005
10. We see naked people every day and have to pretend we don't
notice that they're naked. And the naked people pretend
they don't care that they're naked, because they
want us to think they're "coo
0 Comments,
144 Views,
0 Votes
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Bartender Psychology 2/8/2005
Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could
nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks.
Though interviewed separate
0 Comments,
133 Views,
0 Votes
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5 Levels of a Hangover 2/8/2005
One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to
function relatively well. However, you are still parched.
You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason,
0 Comments,
89 Views,
0 Votes
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32 Things to try to relieve stress 2/8/2005
1. Sing 'Happy Birthday To Me' and blow out the
candle during wax play.
<br>
2. If you're trussed up and ordered to count, inform
your Top you can't do it unless you can use your finge
0 Comments,
106 Views,
0 Votes
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Fairies 2/8/2005
A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating
their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little
restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their
ta
0 Comments,
63 Views,
0 Votes
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Cool things about being a man 2/8/2005
1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
<br>
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
<br>
3. Your last name stays put.
<br>
4. The garage is all yours.
<br&g
0 Comments,
65 Views,
0 Votes
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Whooops 2/8/2005
Saturday morning a deer hunter gets up early, dresses quietly,
gets
his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs the gun and
goes to
the garage to warm up his truck and head down to his
0 Comments,
68 Views,
0 Votes
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Santa Dom Is Coming To Town 2/8/2005
You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm tellin' you why...
<br>
Santa Dom is coming to Town!
<br>
He's making a whip,
Cracking it twice;
0 Comments,
54 Views,
0 Votes
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And You Thought You Were Smart 2/7/2005
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when
suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards
him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes,
Ray Ban sungla
0 Comments,
93 Views,
0 Votes
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Norwegian Fire Fighters 2/7/2005
One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire
started inside the local chemical plant, and in a blink
of an eye it exploded into massive flames.
<br>
The alarm went out to al
0 Comments,
51 Views,
0 Votes
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Handguns VS Women 2/7/2005
#10 - YOU CAN TRADE AN OLD 44 FOR A NEW 22.
<br>
#09 - YOU CAN KEEP ONE HANDGUN AT HOME, AND HAVE ANOTHER FOR
WHEN YOU'RE ON THE ROAD.
<br>
#08 - IF YOU ADMIRE A FRIEND'S HA
0 Comments,
56 Views,
0 Votes
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Indian Is Right 2/7/2005
A good ole friend sent this & is it ever right just think
& they had no damm politics & everything went smooth.
<br>
An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking
a ce
0 Comments,
69 Views,
0 Votes
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Fix The Outhouse 2/7/2005
Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out...
"Pa, You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"
<br>
Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the
outhouse."
<br
0 Comments,
90 Views,
0 Votes
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